Communication skills are essential in building and maintaining healthy relationships. As Dr. Norman Belleza, a professor of physical therapy and kinesiology, notes, the ability to communicate effectively can open doors to better employee engagement, appreciation, and experience.
No matter the situation, communication is key; whether it be verbal, nonverbal, or a combination of both. Nonverbal communication techniques such as body language, facial expressions, and trust are equally important as verbal communication. It is important to recognize the communication barriers that can interfere with effective communication, such as physical, psychological, and social barriers. Once you are aware of these, you can take the necessary steps to overcome them. Other crucial communication skills include active listening, the five roles of communication, and presentation skills.
Understand Your Own Communication Style
To understand our own communication style, it is important to identify our strengths and weaknesses, recognize our own triggers, and understand our emotions and tones. We can do this by practicing empathetic listening and being mindful of our non-verbal cues. Additionally, we should strive to give and receive feedback in a clear and respectful manner.
Developing assertiveness and articulation through mindful practice and clear speech can help us to better control our tone of voice, eye contact, and gestures.
Identify Your Strengths & Weaknesses
Building on the previous section, it is important to identify your strengths and weaknesses so that you can better understand and improve your communication style. Self-awareness is key to effective communication. By honestly assessing your communication skills, you can discover your strengths and focus on developing your weaknesses. Additionally, it is important to recognize when your communication style is not working. Knowing when to negotiate or compromise, and using problem-solving techniques, can often help you to reach a resolution.
Moreover, having patience and understanding can go a long way in improving communication. Showing empathy for the other person, and self-regulating your emotions, can allow for a more productive conversation.
Recognize Your Own Triggers
Now that you have identified your strengths and weaknesses, it's time to recognize your own triggers. Negotiation and self-regulation are key social skills needed to recognize your own emotional triggers, as well as the triggers of others. Being aware of how you feel when you are in certain situations, and understanding the reactions of those around you, can be beneficial when it comes to communication. Being honest and open with yourself and others can help create a space of understanding that can be used in any kind of communication. Honesty and openness can help create a more positive communication environment.
Understanding Emotion and Tone
Now that you have identified your strengths and weaknesses, and learned to recognize your own triggers, it's time to understand emotion and tone.
It is important to be mindful of the impact our words have on others. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in ourselves and in others. By being aware of our emotions, and those of others, we can effectively communicate with people from all walks of life.
It is also essential to be aware of the tone of our voice, as well as how we express our feelings through our facial expressions and body language. When communicating with someone, it is important to be mindful of our own physical presence and how it is perceived by the other person.
Listen and Be Present
To make sure you're listening and being present in the moment, it's important to practice active listening, put away distractions, and show interest.
Active listening involves focusing your attention on the speaker, understanding their message, and responding appropriately. It is also important to be an empathetic listener, and try to appreciate or understand the feelings expressed.
Put away any distractions that could prevent you from listening properly. This can include your phone, laptop, or any other devices. Focus on the speaker, and give them your undivided attention.
Show interest in what the speaker is saying.
Practice Active Listening
Having developed your own communication style, the next step is to practice active listening. Active listening is a crucial skill that requires undivided attention and open-mindedness. By taking the time to listen carefully and respond thoughtfully, you can create a meaningful dialogue with your peers.
When engaging in active listening, it is important to put away all distractions and really take in what is being said. This includes avoiding interruptions and refraining from judgement. It is also important to show genuine interest in what the speaker has to say by providing encouraging nods and positive affirmations.
Put Away Distractions
An essential part of listening and being present in any conversation is to put away distractions. Not only do distractions take away from the conversation, but they also show a lack of respect to the other person. It may feel like you’re multitasking, but in reality, it’s splitting your attention and preventing you from being an active listener. To ensure your full attention during conversations, turn off notifications on your phone and other electronic devices. Place the devices out of reach, giving yourself permission to focus on the conversation instead of worrying about potential distractions. Doing so will allow you to be more present and listen with empathy.
Showing Interest
Showing interest is an important part of communication and can help you build relationships with the people you interact with. Being genuinely interested in what someone has to say can lead to positive feelings and a better connection between you and the other person. To show interest, you can give a verbal response that indicates you have been listening and are engaged in the conversation. You can also make eye contact and nod your head in agreement to show that you are paying attention.
It is also important to ask questions that show you are interested in what the other person is saying. This can be both open-ended questions that allow for more discussion and closed-ended questions that require short answers. Asking questions can be a great way to make the other person feel heard and understood.
Express Yourself Clearly
Expressing yourself clearly is an essential communication skill. To be successful, it is important to speak authentically, respect your partner's point of view, and develop empathy.
When speaking authentically, use clear speech and be assertive. Articulate your thoughts and opinions with a confident tone of voice. Also, pay attention to non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, eye contact, and gestures. This will help your listener understand your message better.
It's also important to respect your partner's point of view. Be open to different ideas and opinions and understand that not everyone will think the same way.
Speak Authentically
Expressing yourself authentically can be a challenge, but it's a crucial part of effective communication. Being open and honest with your partner helps build trust, which is essential to maintain a healthy relationship. You can create a space to speak freely by setting aside time to talk and actively listen to what your partner has to say.
When it comes to speaking authentically, you must find the courage to be yourself and show vulnerability. This means using your voice to express your thoughts, feelings, and opinions to your partner. It also means boldly speaking up when something is bothering you and not burying it.
If you are uncomfortable with being vocal, practice articulating your thoughts by yourself in front of a mirror.
Respect Your Partner's Point of View
Respecting your partner's point of view is a crucial part of successful communication. Whether you're discussing a serious problem or participating in lighthearted banter, you can foster a strong relationship by honoring the perspectives of others. This means taking the time to consider their arguments, appreciating their feelings, and sharing your own in a way that avoids belittling or judgment.
It can be difficult to keep an open mind when we disagree, but it's essential to truly listen and remain objective. As you communicate, you should strive to be aware of your own biases and work to keep an open heart. You can also remind yourself that you don't have to agree with everything your partner says – you just have to accept that their feelings are valid.
Developing Empathy
Now that we've discussed how to be present and express ourselves clearly, let's explore how to develop empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It's a critical skill in any relationship, as it helps to build trust and understanding. To develop empathy, start by listening with an open mind. This means being willing to set aside your own opinions and experiences to empathize with someone else's. You can also practice using non-judgmental language to express your understanding and acceptance of someone else's point of view. Additionally, understanding the other person's body language and facial expressions can help you gain insight into their feelings and thoughts.
Acknowledge Your Partner's Feelings
Acknowledge your partner's feelings by validating and empathizing with them, learning to recognize nonverbal cues, and practicing active listening. To validate, take time to truly understand what your partner is feeling and why. Empathizing is about being able to put yourself in their shoes and understanding their perspective. When it comes to nonverbal cues, be mindful of your partner's facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. Finally, learning to listen actively is an important skill in any relationship. Focus on understanding your partner's point of view and show them that you are listening.
Validate and Empathize
It's vital to remember that communication isn't just about what's spoken. To truly understand and connect with your partner, it's important to learn how to validate and empathize with them. Validation involves acknowledging your partner's feelings, even if you don't agree with them. When you validate your partner's feelings, it helps them feel heard and understood.
Empathy is an essential element of relationships, and it's important to learn how to respond to your partner with understanding and compassion. For instance, if your partner is feeling overwhelmed, instead of dismissing their emotions you could say something like, “I understand that you're feeling a lot of pressure, and I'm here to help.” This simple act of support can make all the difference.
Learn to Recognize Nonverbal Cues
Now that you've learned how to express yourself clearly, it's time to focus on recognizing nonverbal cues. Being able to read between the lines and pick up on subtle clues is a key component of successful communication. From a raised eyebrow to a slight shift in body language, nonverbal cues can tell you a lot about how someone is feeling.
It's important to take the time to observe your partner and look for signs they may be uncomfortable or upset. For example, they may be crossing their arms or avoiding eye contact. Once you recognize these cues, you can be more responsive and adjust your conversation accordingly.
By being mindful of nonverbal cues, you can ensure that your partner is heard and respected.
Learning to Listen
Having the ability to listen effectively is an essential part of expressing yourself clearly and communicating with your partner. Listening is an active process that involves more than just hearing what is said. It is also about carefully considering the other person's point of view and responding in a way that demonstrates understanding. To become an effective listener, it is important to learn how to recognize and interpret non-verbal cues like body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice.
When you listen with an open mind, you will be better equipped to recognize and understand the needs and feelings of your partner. This will help you to validate and empathize with your partner, which is a crucial part of building a strong relationship.
Set Boundaries
When it comes to setting boundaries, it's important to respect each other's space, establish clear expectations, and clarify our expectations. Respecting each other's space means having an awareness of the other person's comfort levels and understanding that we all need our own space and time to process our thoughts. We should also be mindful of our body language and non-verbal cues, such as keeping a certain distance or speaking in a softer tone. Establishing clear expectations can help us build trust and create a more efficient working environment. By making sure everyone knows what is expected of them, we can avoid any confusion or misunderstanding.
Respect Each Other's Space
Now that you have taken the time to acknowledge your partner's feelings, it is important to respect each other's space. Creating boundaries is a critical part of a healthy relationship. Setting clear boundaries helps create a sense of security and understanding. It allows each partner to know what is expected of them in the relationship and what behavior is appropriate. This helps ensure that each person can maintain their independence and personal space. Boundaries also help build trust, as both partners know that the other will not encroach on their space and respect their comfort level. Having boundaries allows both partners to be honest with each other and ensure that neither partner is being taken advantage of.
Establish Clear Expectations
Having acknowledged each other's feelings, it is time to set boundaries. Establishing clear expectations is an essential part of any healthy relationship. This will help both partners feel respected and secure, as well as ensure that their individual needs are met.
Creating expectations is a two-way street; both partners should work together to come up with mutually agreeable terms. It is important to be honest and open with each other about what is and isn't acceptable. If you have difficulty communicating, take some time to think things through before discussing the matter.
Each person's boundaries and expectations should be treated with respect. Any changes should be discussed in a calm, non-confrontational way.
Clarifying Expectations
Having accepted your partner's feelings, it is now time to set boundaries that will help strengthen your relationship and ensure each of your needs are met. Clarifying expectations is a key part of this process, as it helps both parties understand what is expected of them and their role in the relationship. To do this, it is important to be direct and honest about what you are willing to give and what you need in return.Asking open-ended questions can also be helpful in understanding what your partner is hoping for and what they can offer.
When it comes to clarifying expectations, it is also important to make sure that there is mutual understanding and agreement.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Asking open-ended questions is an essential communication skill that can bring people together and foster meaningful conversations. To successfully do this, it is important to encourage conversation, avoid assumptions, and use effective strategies to ask open-ended questions.
When engaging in conversation, it is important to be mindful of creating a safe, comfortable space for the other person to share their thoughts and feelings. Avoiding assumptions by simply listening and allowing the other person to express themselves can lead to a more meaningful exchange of ideas.
Encourage Conversation
Having set boundaries in place, the next step is to encourage conversation and create an atmosphere of openness. It is important to avoid assumptions and ensure that conversations are open-ended, allowing people to express their honest thoughts and feelings. This means asking questions that require more than a simple “yes” or “no” answer.
One of the best ways to do this is to get people to elaborate on their response. Asking follow-up questions that require a bit more explanation can be an effective way to dive deeper and gain more insights. For example, instead of simply asking “How was your day?”, one could ask “What was the best part of your day?”.
Another approach is to ask for opinions and allow people to express their own perspective.
Avoid Assumptions
Now that we have set boundaries, let's discuss how we can encourage conversations and avoid assumptions. Making assumptions can be damaging to relationships, as they can lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings. To prevent this, we should strive to be honest and open with our conversations.
We can start by boldly asking open-ended questions to gain further insight into our conversation. This can help to create an atmosphere of trust, understanding, and respect. We should also be aware of our verbal and non-verbal cues, as these can give away our biases and judgments. It's important to keep an open mind and take into consideration all perspectives.
Strategies to Encourage Open-Ended Questions
Now that we have set boundaries and learned how to ask open-ended questions, let's dive into strategies we can use to encourage conversation in our daily lives. Encouraging conversation is a crucial communication skill that will help build relationships and create meaningful connections.
To start, let's focus on what we can do to promote open-ended conversations. To do so, we must first understand the power of self-awareness. It is important to pay attention to our own non-verbal cues, tone of voice, and facial expressions. All of these can indicate how we feel and how we are perceiving a situation.
Manage Conflict
When managing conflict, it is essential to take time to cool down. Allowing emotions to run rampant can easily lead to further escalation, and it is important to take a step back and think through a situation before responding. Focusing on solutions can help to de-escalate a situation. It is important to instead focus on finding a way to resolve the issue. Finally, having good communication and interpersonal skills can be beneficial in resolving conflict. Listening attentively, employing empathy, and being respectful of others can go a long way in helping to resolve a conflict.
Take Time to Cool Down
When it comes to managing conflicts, it is essential to take time to cool down. It can be difficult to be level-headed and rational when faced with a challenging situation. That's why it is important to create a space to step away and process the emotions behind the conflict. This can help to create a more productive and positive environment.
When tensions are high, you can take a few moments to breathe and reflect. This can help to clear your mind, restore your energy, and help you identify solutions. Taking time to cool down can also help you to regain perspective and approach the situation from a calmer, more rational place.
Focus on Solutions
Now that we have discussed the importance of asking open-ended questions to manage conflict, let's move on to our next topic: finding solutions. Finding solutions is essential when it comes to resolving conflict. Taking the time to think through creative solutions can help to identify a resolution that works for both parties.
When it comes to finding solutions, it is important to be flexible. It is also important to be open to considering ideas that may not be your own. The best solutions often come when both parties are willing to compromise.
Finding solutions is not always easy, but it can be rewarding when the right solution is found. It is important to keep in mind that the goal is to find a solution that is beneficial to everyone.
Resolving Conflict
Now that you have taken the time to cool down and focus on solutions, it is time to focus on the topic of resolving conflict. Resolving conflict involves understanding the issues, needs, and feelings of the other person or people involved, as well as your own. It is important to keep an open mind and be willing to compromise and negotiate. It is also important to be respectful and honest while working towards a resolution. Additionally, active listening can be a powerful tool in resolving conflicts. Being an active listener involves being attentive to what is being said, as well as any non-verbal cues that might be present. It also involves asking questions and providing feedback to ensure that everyone is on the same page.
Show Appreciation
Showing appreciation is essential to building lasting relationships. Expressing gratitude, celebrating successes, and participating in acts of service are all key components of showing appreciation.
When expressing gratitude, make sure to be genuine and sincere. Acknowledge any help or support you receive, and show others how much you value them. A simple “thank you” goes a long way!
Celebrating successes is another great way to show appreciation. Take the time to recognize and celebrate any successes or milestones, no matter how big or small.
Express Gratitude
Expressing gratitude is an important practice that can help to increase motivation, positivity, and productivity. By appreciating the efforts of our coworkers, we are able to reduce social barriers and strengthen relationships. When we express our gratitude, it helps to create an atmosphere of respect, trust, and understanding.
Acknowledging and expressing gratitude to our coworkers helps to build strong relationships and can be done in a variety of ways. One simple way is to offer a genuine compliment or a verbal thank you. This can help to affirm your coworker’s hard work and show that you value their contributions. Additionally, a handwritten note or token of appreciation can also be meaningful and noteworthy.
Celebrate Successes
It's essential to identify and recognize success in the workplace, and celebrating successes can be an effective way to do this. Celebrating successes not only acknowledges the hard work of the individual or team, but can also help to bolster morale and increase motivation. This can be done in a variety of ways, from simply offering verbal praise, to a more formalized award ceremony. No matter the approach, it's important to make sure that the recognition is genuine and heartfelt.
One great way to celebrate successes is to host a team-building activity. This can be a great opportunity to have some fun and get to know your colleagues better. It can also be a great way to acknowledge the accomplishments of the team.
Participate in Acts of Service
Now that we've addressed how to manage conflict, it's time to focus on how to show appreciation. A great way to express gratitude is to participate in acts of service. The best way to demonstrate appreciation is to offer meaningful service to those around you.
When we take the time to go above and beyond to help someone, it is a tangible way to show that we are thankful for them and that we value them. Going out of our way to do something special for someone else not only shows that we care, but it also helps build a strong bond with that person. Whether it's bringing lunch to a colleague, helping someone with a task, or giving a heartfelt thank you, these small acts of kindness can go a long way in building relationships.
Conclusion
Developing communication skills in relationships is essential for creating trust, building strong connections, and fostering healthy boundaries. Nonverbal communication plays an important role in relationships, and it’s important to be aware of the nonverbal communication signals you are sending and receiving. Listening and being present is also key, as is expressing yourself clearly and setting boundaries. Conflict can also be managed by using valuable employee feedback, asking open-ended questions, and showing appreciation.
Dr. Norman Belleza reminds us that effective communication skills are not just about the words we say; they are also about the nonverbal communication types – expressions, body language, employee recognition tools, and tone of voice.
